Tag Archives: Parenting

God Will Meet Your Needs – PERIOD

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And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

God Will Meet Your NeedsThis is the verse that runs through my mind over and over again as I walk up and down the aisles at the grocery store getting the items my family needs.

“God will meet all my needs according to His riches and glory. God will meet all my needs according to His riches and glory…”

Over and over again all throughout the store as I pick up each item evaluating if it’s a “need” or a “want”…

Yesterday when I was at the grocery it was no different… but as I was walking to my car with my cart full of groceries quietly thanking God for providing my needs something truly switched on in my mind.

“According to HIS riches…and HIS glory”

His riches are limitless… His glory is limitless…

The only limitations that occur are when WE put them there!

When we align our lives (mind & heart), our finances (tithing & good stewardship), our families (modeling Christ) with His word we can rest in knowing without a doubt that He will, indeed, provide for us and make a way even when there seems no way!

While I was sharing this with my husband we made a pact, an official proclamation that we would continue to trust in Him and claim victory in our lives in the way of finances while in the midst of the difficult time… not after, but now! We agreed together in prayer that we would continue to praise Him and trust wholeheartedly that He will, in fact, continue to provide all of our needs.

A few hours later I received an email from someone who wanted to mail us a check to bless us… the amount of the check would cover the entire cost of our grocery bill plus a little extra!

One blessing at a time… God is faithful!

As mothers, we have a tendency to worry about how we will take care of our family. I think it’s part of our instinct when we become mothers. While God never intends for us to fret, He makes mothers highly aware of the needs of the family. It’s a beautiful thing really, but through our own human nature and predisposition to worry (because we’re human) this heightened awareness often manifests as anxiety.

What we need to do is remember God’s promises. He promises that He will take care of us. He promises to meet all of our needs according to His riches and Glory. He loves us, He sees our needs and wants to meet our needs. He simply asks that we trust in Him, seeking Him first and then all of these things will be given to us; period.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:26

 

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

 

To read more from Not aLone Mom click HERE.

 

The Hidden Trap of Motherhood {Insecurity}

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Written By: Brenda L. Yoder

“I don’t need you to envy me, I just need you to be proud of me.”

These words poured onto the screen as she typed them to her mom. At forty-something, she felt like a little girl again, her life-long quest of seeking the words, “I’m proud of you.”

The Hidden Trap of Motherhood pic

I identify with these feelings of insecurity and seeking approval from others – parents, spouse, siblings, children, etc. In my journey as a mom, I realize how much insecurity has played a role in how I parent.

  • Insecurity that if I don’t raise my children “right,” they will turn out “wrong” and I will be labeled a “bad parent.”
  • Insecurity that if I don’t get my kids involved in every sport or activity at the earliest age, they will fall behind, and my personal insecurities won’t be padded by their successes.
  • Insecurity that if I don’t look a certain way, I won’t be accepted by other moms.
  • Insecurity that leads to pride when my children succeed, because I’m the one who made them that way.
  • Insecurity that leaves me clinging to my rights as a mom because if I let go, I can’t guarantee the results.
  • Insecurity that draws me to hover over my child even though they need independence because when they depend on me, I feel loved.
  • Insecurity that allows anger to rise up when my child embarrasses me because their actions define my worth.

My list could go on. I began parenting as a young twenty-three year old overcoming identity issues and insecurities from a long-term eating disorder. Being a mom became my first identity as a woman and I knew just the kind of mom I wanted to be. Motherhood was going to fill all the gaping holes in my heart. But as motherhood became my identity, the challenges it brought left me fighting against myself and the child who was supposed to fulfill my hopes and dreams.

As I’ve walked through two decades of parenting, every fiber of my being has been challenged in the process. Every notion of what I imagined parenting to be has shaken me because my identity as a woman wasn’t grounded in being a child of God, but in my own children. After walking in difficult places as a mom, I’ve humbly learned my children don’t define me. They don’t add to or take away from my worth as a woman. My security comes in who I am in Christ alone. Being a mom doesn’t fill my insecurities. Only Jesus does.

As a woman, where do your insecurities lie? Are you looking to your children or your successes as a mom to fill the voids in your heart? While it feels good to have compliments on your child’s character, behavior or performance, if your confidence is not rooted in your position as a daughter of the Most High God, you’ll be devastated when other’s judge you because of your child’s character, behavior, or performance.

Believe me, it will happen. Been there, done that.

The Hidden Truth of Motherhood pic 2Our family has walked through dark times. As a mom not-yet-secure in Christ, the dark times were even more devastating because the expectations I had for myself and my family formed my identity. What happens when those expectations are shattered? You stand alone with broken pieces – just you, yourself and God.

But He rebuilds. He takes the broken pieces and glues the insecurities together with Divine holding power that can’t be shaken. He fills the gaps with His grace and mercy that can’t be known when your confidence comes in what others think of you. Security comes in knowing your value is not in your family, your children, or your role as mother, but in simply being His.

Dear daughter of God, where is your security today? Your children will fail you. You will fail your children. When it happens, you will stumble less when your confidence is rooted in His strength, not yours. Today, will you see yourself outside of your role as daughter, wife or mother, and rest in knowing your full value as a woman is complete in being the child of the gracious and mighty King.

And in that alone, He says, “I’m proud of you.”

“Dear Jesus, will you pour the truth of your grace into each woman today reading these words who needs to know their value in you? Will you give strength to the weary, hope to the shaken, and grace to the insecure places? Thank you that our worth is in You alone. Amen.”

To read more from Not aLone Mom click here.

Facebook and Pinocchio: How Pinocchio Gave Me Perspective on My Facebook Habits

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Written by: Lara Marriott

This month I wanted to write about Facebook. So, let’s talk about Pinocchio. (I think I have been hanging around my kids a bit too long…”squirrel!”) No really, Facebook reminded me recently of the part in the movie when…

Facebook and Pinocchio pic

You might be saying to yourself, “Ah, Lara that is harsh, Facebook isn’t like that for the most part. That kind of behavior and environment is few and far between.” Maybe…

But I decided to take a break from Facebook this month and it’s been VERY difficult… I’ve found myself going back to it at least once a day to find out what others have been up to so I can stay ‘in-touch”. It’s helped not commenting about how I’ve been feeling or what I’ve been doing which has opened my eyes to a few things.

When I first heard about Facebook a few years ago I was intrigued. I wanted to reconnect with my high school classmates, family members, and friends from years past. It was awesome to talk to them again and see what they were doing as we were all getting older and to be able to share some pictures of the new additions to our family. Over the years, however, my thoughts and actions have started to change. Instead of going onto Facebook every now and then – it became my escape.

I had two toddlers at home and rarely got out of the house. When I was frustrated, I’d check Facebook. When I was lonely, I’d check Facebook. When the kids were sleeping, I’d check Facebook. When my husband and I weren’t getting along, I’d check Facebook. It was there I felt I could be open and free with my feelings finding some kind of support. It was there I could live vicariously through my friends lives and get away from my own. This behavior was very unhealthy.

Comparing myself to others was another one of my hidden “Facebook sins”. If I had this “number” of friends then I had value. If I had that “number” of comments on one of my posts then I was understood and validated. If these people connected with me then I was special. What, a sin? Oh no, no, no…I rarely sinned (insert sarcasm). It didn’t seem like it at the time because I justified it. But, by stepping back and looking at Facebook from the outside looking in, I can see now how it had become a facade of reality.

Facebook and Pinocchio featured imgThere is a good side and a bad side to Facebook. I love posting scripture verses I am reading each day. I love sharing about how God is working in my life and in the lives of others. The other day one of my friends asked me about my faith and I had the privilege of sharing about God’s love for them. It is a great place to post prayer requests and have hundreds of people praying for you or being able to pray for others’ needs. Facebook reminds me about birthdays and anniversaries so I can wish my family and friends blessings on their special days. It is fun to post silly pictures and/or videos of events that have affected me. And it has been awesome to reconnect with people from my past and make new connections.

Unfortunately though, most of my “friends” are not in my present reality. They are living their lives somewhere else in the world. They have grown up and have made life decisions without me being around. So even though we have re-connected, we are still very dis-connected. I realize I need to stop trying to force my way back into their reality. I also need to let some of them go. Just the other day I saw one of my high school friends changed his profile picture to a pornographic image. I was shocked and had to block him completely which made me very sad.

This is not intended to be a downer post, but maybe it will make us all think of how we spend those precious 24 hours we have been given each day and who (and what) we give that time to.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28.

I have found myself going to Facebook more than going to Jesus. I have also found Facebook has become a Band-Aid, but not a restful solution, to what is really going on deep down in my heart.

We all have friends right where we are and neighbors who might need a friendly act of kindness once and awhile. There are people in our churches who we can “friend” and get to know. Our families, who might be trying at times, but also need our love, attention and prayers. I believe when we place those people above our Facebook/Social Media friends, we will have a much more balanced approach when it comes to our internet friends.

So will I quit Facebook altogether? I’ve thought about it, but no. I will try to stop seeing it as an escape or a “Pleasure Island” if you will. I am thankful for all of the people God has placed in my life through Facebook. They are each very special and will continue to be. But, God has brought my immediate family and I to where we are now, and I need to flourish in that reality – not Facebook.

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A Lesson I Learned From My Toddler: Tell The Devil To Shush!

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Tell the devil to Shush pic

My daughter (just under 3yrs) and I have started a new tradition. In the early morning when she gets up, and her brother is still sleeping, we sit on the couch and read her Jesus Calling Bible Storybook for children. I love this book! It takes kids through all the great stories in both the Old and New Testament making each story easy for little ones to understand without watering down the message. It’s wonderful!

On our first morning we sat down to read about the beginning and “God’s Big Plan”, we read about God creating the heavens and the earth, the animals, and Adam and Eve. We finished up by reading about “Adam and Eve’s Big Mistake” and how God said, “Don’t eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. If you eat the fruit, you will die.”

We read about God’s enemy Satan and that Satan is evil and “he always wants people to do bad things.” We read about Satan coming into the garden pretending to be a snake and that he lied to Eve saying, “You won’t die. If you eat this fruit, you will learn about good and evil, and you will be like God.” We read about Eve choosing to listen to him instead of God; and Adam did too. And how this act immediately changed everything and “made God sad”.

We turned the page to finish up with how this decision changed everything and God sent them away from the Garden, but that “God had a plan. He would come to earth as a baby and grow to be a man who would defeat Satan and rescue God’s children. Jesus would be His name.”

You can see how powerful this Bible storybook is! It speaks truth to kids on their level.

When we were finished with this portion, I was ready to talk with my little girl to see how much she was able to understand. I don’t expect a full book report from a child who isn’t even three, but I don’t want to underestimate her level of understanding either. Children have a way of surprising us that way. So I simply asked her what she thought.

What happened next both shocked me and touched my heart on a deep level.

A serious look formed on her face and she got up from the couch like she was on a mission. She sat the book on our foot rest/ottoman, and turned back to the page with the scenario in the Garden. She then looked at me with a fiery passion and sense of urgency saying, “I have to jump in the book!”

Tell The Devil to Shush pic 2“What?” I asked.

“I have to jump in the book and get the apple. I have to put it back on the tree!!” she proclaimed loudly. (She watches a lot of Super Why, a show where superhero kids jump in books to change the outcome if the character is being naughty, e.g. when Pinocchio lies, they jump in to teach him to tell the truth!)

WOW… I had a feeling I knew where this was going so I prompted her more, “Why do you need to put the apple back in the tree, honey?”

“Because God said ‘No, No’!” she replied.

“That’s right sweetie, God said ‘no’ but Adam and Eve didn’t listen to God, did they?” I asked.

With an irritated look forming on her face she answered, “No… naughty snake!”

Feeling more and more proud I continued, “That’s right! That naughty snake Satan lied to them and told them to eat the apple even though God said ‘No’! – What should they have said to that naughty Satan?”

Her response to this question is a powerful statement we should all take to heart!

She stood up tall, looked me right in the eyes and said boldly, “Shush! Be quiet!”

Wow… a statement so simple yet an proclamation that speaks volumes! An approach we could all benefit from!

The devil is out to bring us down, “he prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour” 1 Peter 5:8. He is happy when he pulls us backward from what God has planned for us… he is also happy when he uses our own thoughts, insecurities, fears, etc. to keep us from moving forward!!

Something we can all take away from this precious account of a “child like faith” is this… there is no reason to debate with the enemy. When he starts speaking lies into our lives all we simply need to do is say to him, “Shush! Be quiet!” In other words – you’re a liar Satan! And I know the truth! “The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.” Psalm 18:2. His name is JESUS! And you, Satan, have already been defeated! So just – shush!

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me…for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

 

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The Middle School Moan

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Written by: Brenda L. Yoder

Middle School Moans PictureJunior High. Gotta love it. You remember the junior high horrors – awkward showers in gym class, girl drama, and perhaps the much anticipated “first kiss.” My kids are three years apart in school, so I always have one leaving middle school while another enters {thrill}. I can’t get away from it. For moms, the middle school years are filled with the dreaded the middle school moan.

“Mom, I know.” (Emphasis on KNOW, complete with eye-roll),

“Why does he get to do that? I didn’t get to do that when I was that age.”

“Mom, you don’t need to tell me!”

“You don’t understand!”

In other words, “Leave me alone! It’s not cool to tell me stuff. I don’t need to listen.”

Navigating middle school is a scary time for mom and child. Kids are trying to break free, be independent, yet everything around them is quickly changing. They’re trying to find their identity. Hormones are raging. Caution signs flash everywhere for good reason. While they’re pushing you away faster than you want them to, they still need and want you.

As a teacher and counselor, I’ve seen many teens form their identity around unhealthy peer groups or engage in dangerous behavior because the struggle for identity is so great. Navigating your child through this time can be tiring – having one hand on them while also letting go. It’s a fine line, and sometimes you don’t know where the line is.

When my firstborn went through middle school, a friend told me even though Baby Girl was pushing me away, she still needed me. Who would have guessed that words of “I hate you” also meant “I need you.”

Middle School Moans Picture 2Hind sight is better than foresight. I’m glad we’ve made it through three out of four middle schoolers already. We’ve learned a lot the hard way. But I can’t vacation yet. Each child is different and knowing what each one needs at various developmental stages is a big job. It requires knowing a child’s “bents.” It requires patience and perseverance. It requires loving them when they are least lovable.

One of the greatest parenting tips I’ve received is to love your children equally, while letting them feel they are special and unique. When you have them alone, tell them things about themselves that make them different than their siblings. I’ve put this into practice with all of our kids, acknowledging their differences while celebrating their uniqueness. I let each of them know their special place of honor.

When the children were toddlers, I bought each of them a book that was unique to their place in the family. For my middle son, I bought him the book, “I Love You the Purplest” by Barbara Joosse. It’s about a mom who sees a competitive spirit between her boys. She explains to each son how she loves them as individuals for their unique characteristics. I read this story to one of my sons recently. While the message hit home, Junior responded with a middle schooler’s “Oh, Mom!”

In the eye roll moment, I knew he heard. He still needs to hear a tender message of being known. I know I’ll hear the “Oh-Mom-with-eye-roll-tone” many more times yet. But with each middle school moan, I’ll be on my knees, asking God for wisdom, guidance, and understanding.

With a little moaning and eye-rolling myself.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Prov. 22:6 (NIV)

Father, will you allow each mother reading this today to be filled with your grace and strength to know each of her children in their uniqueness? Will you give her patience and tenacity at the same time, helping her balance the delicate role of nurturing while allowing independence and identity in her children to be formed? And for the middle school moms, will you give them an extra measure of patience and understanding? Thank you for your grace. Amen.

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I Am Thankful For YOU!!

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“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever!” 1 Chronicles 16:34 (NIV) I have so much to be thankful for! My amazing, loving, and studly husband of over ten years (yes, honey – you’ve still … Continue reading →

A Season of “Little”

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Written By: Jill Nelson Our bank account is low… again. I’m sure a lot of you can relate to that. As a wife and mom who follows Jesus, I have been challenged to have great faith! And I’m sure a … Continue reading →

The Vision for Not aLone Mom

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I would like to take a moment and share from my heart what exactly Not aLone Mom is to me and where it is going. After a couple intimate encounters with God, the first when I was 15 and the … Continue reading →

NEW! Contributor and Featured Photographer

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Not aLone Mom is happy to present Laura Rouse-DeVore – new monthly contributor as well as Featured Photographer! Laura is the proud mama of three boys! Her writing reflects that of a mother who truly “gets it”, and is sure … Continue reading →

Priceless Memories – And a Finger in the Nose!

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Today was one of those days with many memorable moments. Yes, through all the toddler-tantrums and baby meltdowns were a couple monumental moments that I will always remember. And to think, one of them involved a finger in my nose! … Continue reading →