When the guys over at the What to Expect When You’re Expecting franchise call you up and ask if you’d like to contribute to their website – you don’t say NO!! I am excited to share with you my first post for the WTE site: 3 Steps to Avoiding a Mommy Tantrum… you can start reading below or you can link directly to the post now over at whattoexpect.com by clicking HERE… enjoy!!
Have you ever had to put yourself in a time out for having a mommy tantrum? Well… I have.
Let me introduce myself, hi, my name is Krissy Nelson and I am NOT a perfect mother.
Now that we have that out of the way lets talk real for a moment.
I have yelled at my kids, screamed, cried, stomped my feet, come just short of holding my breath, total mommy tantrum lost it with my kids. I am not proud of it. I don’t want to continue doing it. But I am willing to admit it. Why? Because it happened, and the last thing I want to do is bottle it up and pretend that it isn’t a real thing that moms face when raising toddlers.
Toddlers have a gift (I say gritting my teeth) of bringing out the worst in their parents. Between their relentless demands – mommy… MOMMY! MOOOOMMMMMMMYYYYY!!!!!!!! Their inability to reason, and their heightened emotional state, toddlers can push us to our limits causing us to have our own version of a tantrum… a mommy tantrum.
So what do we do about it? Here are the three things I have found most effective in dealing with, and preventing, mommy tantrums.
1.) Make sure you’re getting your “me time”. Having quality time to yourself is critical. And I’m not talking about five minutes alone locked in your bathroom. I’m talking about being proactive and taking some intentional “me time” outside of the house. Have coffee with a friend. Take yourself shopping. Get a pedicure. Last week I found myself falling asleep in the waiting room of the hair salon. Just sitting alone, in the tranquility of the spa lobby was such a release from my everyday chaos of raising two toddlers under 4yrs that I felt totally renewed in those moments prior to my three hour hair appointment. That’s not to say those few moments alone would have been enough to count as “me time” it just goes to show how much I needed it. Moms need to take breaks for themselves…on purpose.
2.) Try to see the world from their perspective. Emphases on try. This can be challenging especially when you’re in the heat of the moment. The key is to stop, take a deep breath, and think. Think about what your child is trying to accomplish. If you are about to erupt at them for climbing on the kitchen counter and grabbing a cup out of the cabinet, just wait. Try asking them some questions first. Like why are they climbing on the counter? The answer will likely be, “I am thirsty mommy.” Kids between 2-6 are coming into a time of more independence due to their increased motor skills and cognitive development. They feel empowered and want to explore the world around them and be more independent in obtaining their objectives. In this case, getting a drink. So now that you know what they were trying to accomplish by climbing on the counter don’t come down on them so hard instead, praise them for their resourcefulness in trying to meet their own needs, and use this as a teaching moment. Children at this age are exploring and learning from their environment. Explain the dangers of climbing on the counter and then try meeting them half way. Bring some cups down to their level so the next time they are thirsty they can get their own cup without having to climb, and they can come to you to help them pour in the drink.
3.) Put yourself in a time out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . READ THE REST AT whattoexpect.com by clicking HERE