Written by: Lara Marriott
I am such a romantic at heart. I grew up snuggling next to my mom while she watched, My Fair Lady, An Affair To Remember, and all of those Turner Movie Classics on TV. I would dream of what I wanted my husband to be like. He had to be debonair, charming, witty, humble, extremely good-looking, he had to love God, be kind to his mom, treat me like a lady, have the same interests as me, be strong in all of the places I was weak and my best friend. I pictured my wedding to be a grand event where I would be a princess for a day.
Brian Marriott turned out to be the man for me. I knew on our first real date (even though I doubted myself). Our wedding turned out to be a bit over the top ridiculous. Since I was committed to him for the long haul it had to be big. We had a string quartet, soloists, hundreds of attendees, video cameras and I had a huge dress with a long train. It had to be exactly how I imagined it to be of course. I am a bit embarrassed actually that I put my friends and family through all of that, but it was one of the best days of my life and we got to share it with the ones we loved.
Yes, we were and still are in love after 13 years of marriage, but our love is evolving into a deeper kind of love than the love expressed in the tearjerker scenes of movies. The honeymoon kind of love Brian and I first had came face to face with reality pretty quick. We had to cling to our commitment to show God’s love to each other through believing in His ways, following His guidance in the bible and pray for one another everyday even if we were angry, hurt or bitter. It was not easy.
I truly believe many of us begin our marriages with good intentions. The passion is high and we love everything about our soul mates, but without calling on God’s Spirit to help us when the dark valleys come (and they inevitably come), the romantic love fades and never reaches the treasured depth it could find.
Marriage is hard work. Marriage is selfless work. Marriage is about serving, giving and persevering. How do we do that, especially when it feels like the love has died? Here are some verses in the bible that Brian and I have referred back to over and over again through the ups and downs of our marriage:
1 Corinthians 13 “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…”
I don’t know about you, but there is no way I can do all of that by myself without failing. I have tried in my own strength many times and have failed miserably. But there is good news!
1 John 4:7-8 “Dear friends, let us love one another because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been fathered by God and knows God. The person who does not love does not know God, *** because God is love ***”
Isn’t that great news!! God is love! Now read 1 Corinthians 13 with that in mind. Isn’t He amazing! We can only love when He loves through us. We have to have Him in our lives. I am totally human. When I am not calling on His love, I revert to anger, yelling, sarcasm, frustration, bitterness, fear, resentment, etc… If you don’t believe me just ask Brian or my kids. Lol! I give them permission to tell you. But when I ask God to love through me and change my heart for the people around me, I can see the change that takes place in my heart and I know He is working in my life to love.
I love Brian because God first loved me. I love Brian because I see him through God’s eyes. I love Brian because I know God put him in my life for a reason.
What is love? Love is God.
Ask Him for His love and you too will see an amazing transformation from romantic to deep, eternal love.
Remember, “…God’s love never fails…”
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