I Yell, I Cry, I PRAY…

Before I even get started I feel a disclaimer is necessary for this post:

Hi, my name is Krissy Nelson and I am NOT a perfect mother!

I YELL, I CRY, I PRAY… A LOT!!!

In my opinion, the “perfect mother” is, without fail, gracious and patient at all times… she listens to her children, and even while they struggle to communicate, she understands them and knows exactly what they need. She is always smiling, guiding her children with grace and compassion. She has dinner in the oven and laundry neatly folded and put away in drawers. I think she may even wear lipstick on a daily basis but I can’t be sure…

Well, as much as I strive to be this mother (minus the lipstick part – I have always been more of a Chap Stick kinda gal), and always aim to follow her graceful approach with my toddlers, I sometimes, OK – often, fail miserably!!

I Yell…

I don’t want to yell at my children, but sometimes I do! I’m not justifying it as “right” or even “OK” – I’m just saying it happens!

Having a toddler is the toughest thing I have ever done! I used to think having a newborn was the toughest “stage”, and I suppose it was at the time, but now – it’s the toddler stage that’s the toughest, defiantly the toddlers!! (Ask me in 13 years and I’ll probably tell you the teenage years are the most challenging!)

My daughter is nearly three years old and my son is fast approaching 15 months.

So I currently have two toddlers running around the house… biting and screaming and pushing and whining and so on… all day, every day! It can be quite draining to say the least! My patience runs so thin at times it’s all I can do to keep it together or keep from curling up in the fetal position, waiving the white flag at my children as they scurry around me.

I cry…

I do my best to conceal the tears while my children are around, but there are times when the strain of exhaustion and frustration get the better of me… so I cry.

But, just when I feel like I will completely lose it…

I PRAY!

praying-wifeSometimes a quiet prayer to myself, while other times it’s me on my hands and knees crying out to God for strength and patience and the wisdom I need to keep going and to be the Godly mother that He has called me to be, and has already equipped me to be… I just forget sometimes.

Here is the raw, striped down image of motherhood behind closed doors… a woman drenched in tears and food stained “mom clothes”, hair frizzed out from all sides because she has been pulling it out all day as she chases her children around the house trying to keep them from killing one another… crying out to God in total humility asking for His guidance and His supernatural strength to help her as she strives to raise her children without totally losing herself, or her mind, in the process!

No smoke and mirrors here… just me being real about motherhood behind closed doors! Wonderful, blessed, messy motherhood! Where the kids run free because of the independence you are cultivating in them. Where they are 100% comfortable to be themselves and explore their environment because of love you show them every day and the security they have in life because of it…

Yes, motherhood behind closed doors can sometimes get a bit overwhelming for all parties, but you have to remember that you are never ever alone… God is always right there listening as you cry out to Him…

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

The beautiful thing is, as I do this, as I cry out to God for strength – He hears me and answers me immediately! Without fail… every single time! He is gracious and patient at all times… He listens to me, his precious daughter, and even while I struggle to communicate, He understands me and knows exactly what I need. He is always smiling, guiding me with grace and compassion as He whispers sweet words of encouragement into my weary soul. . . “You can do this…”

To read more from Not aLone Mom click here.

2 thoughts on “I Yell, I Cry, I PRAY…

  1. I can relate, Krissy, on every level. When my oldest was a three year old, I thought the days would never end. Terrible twos – and threes, and when did it end? Trying to shape their spirit without breaking it is tough. I was that mom whose toddler screamed in Walmart and I had to leave without my groceries, and balled in the car. Shame, guilt, and yet crying out, “Help!” Thank you for sharing your honest moments.

  2. Thank you Brenda! It’s such a learning experience… I remember waiting as my daughter got closer and closer to three years for her to some how “mellow out” as she “grew out of” the terrible twos… well, I am realizing that does not happen… What a journey! I am always glad when I hear testimonies from other mamas that I am not alone in my journey!! Blessings to you!!

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